Ridding the internet of ugly blogs one blog at a time!

Tuesday, May 31, 2005

Blog Maverick - Mark Cuban's Blog

While patroling the blog neighborhood I ran across a blog that peaked my interest. It is Mark Cuban's blog - Blog Maverick.

Considering the amount of cashola that he has I was surprised to find that his blog is really plain and filled to the brim with geek links. I guess it is true what they say, "Once a geek, always a geek". (Do "they" really even say that? I don't know, but they should.)

I then read his current blog entry and I realized why he didn't take up writing as a career. Plagued by grammatical errors and an inefficient writing style - Blog Maverick should receive a "grammo-wammo" citation - the newest citation being delivered by The Blog Patrol.

The only reason I didn't give him the "grammo-wammo" citation was because I am sure Mark is very busy and I am actually quite surprised and pleased that he is blogging at all. Like Michael Jackson and O.J. Simpson I will allow Mr. Cuban's celebrity status to allow him to skirt the law this time. However, if he keeps breaking the blog laws then I will be forced to reign down on him with BP fury.

As for the rest of you out there in the blogosphere - keep blogging and remember that big brother is indeed watching.

Wednesday, May 25, 2005

Blog Killers

Today is a sad day for me. I just went to theordinarydad.com and found that he is no longer blogging. At first there was denial. I said "No, No, this can't be happening, I WON'T BELIEVE IT!" And then reality set in and I started to accept it - but I sure as heck didn't like it.

Bloggers, if you are going to kill your blog then you need to give a darn good reason for doing so. You can't just kill and run leaving us all left feeling cheated and hollow. I need closure people.

Blogging is about relationships and when someone finally decides to end that relationship they need to give at least 10 reasons, when they first felt that the relationship was breaking down. Why, were they feeling threatened? Were they actually threatened? Were they bored? Were we not giving enough feedback? Was it too much feedback?

If I don't get the necessary closure then don't be surprised if I don't hound you with repetitive emails and phone calls, leaving long emails on your answering machine, and begging you to come back.

And... don't let me catch you killing your blog while I am on vacation either - that is a huge "NO No!"

Thursday, May 19, 2005

A Nicer, Kinder Blogosphere

As I’m coming up on six intense months of blogging, I have decided that I now qualify as a Blog Etiquette Queen (see what happens when you give me power, Eddo?).

Here are a few thoughts on blogging etiquette that, if followed, should contribute to healthy long-term relationships between you and other bloggers:

1. Comment. It’s okay to lurk a few times to see if this is a blog you want to flirt with, propose to, or marry. Don’t be wishy-washy, though. After a few visits, it’s rude not at least say hi. Give feedback. Give good doggies. We’re all looking for a little love.

2. If someone comments on your site, at least take the time to look at their site. This is the flirtation stage, and it can be just as exciting in the blog world as it is in reality. Lurk a bit, see if their latest post is worth commenting on—or, just go ahead--leave a comment thanking them for visiting your site—and see if they come back.

3. If someone lists you in their favorite sites (blogrolls you), return the favor (unless you have no desire to read their blog, in which case you may report them to The Blog Patrol, and we will cite them—see earlier post for list of undesirable blogs). This is the proposal stage of the relationship—say yes, please!

Once you read them and they read you on a daily basis—you’re married. And the great thing about blogging is…you can be married to as many blogs as you want!

4. Finally, be edgy, be funny, be risqué—but there is no reason to be mean or ugly (unless it’s about Britney
Spears). Your Mama says, “Treat others the way you would like to be treated.”

Thus is today’s lesson over. Feel free to add your own etiquette ideas (see point number one).

Kisses, Edgy Mama

Tuesday, May 17, 2005

Phantom of the Blogpera

Okay, I know that every single one of my titles does not have to be so cheesy, but hey, I can't help it sometimes!

My newest blog crave is http://phantomprof.blogspot.com

This blog has behind-the-scenes stories about college students, actual letters from students, and stories from other professors about college students! Weee! And the stories are well written and very enjoyable to read, so I suggest stopping by.

I will admit, I spoke with Phantom Prof about the site design and the errors and she agreed to let me fix it for her. Then out of the blue I was offered a Starbucks gift card for helping and I was shocked and delighted. 15 template designs and no one has offered me anything other than a "Thanks" and sometimes not even that.

So, I created a new template for Phantom Prof despite my new rule of "No More Free Templates" and it is located here at my test site: http://www.postednote.com/happy.htm

I hope everyone realized that the minimalist piece of art at the top of the screen is a graduation cap. I am not an artist and so when I draw something I always worry about what it looks like to others. Obviously the artist sees what he wants to see, but when you are doing something for someone else, you want everyone to see the same thing!

I have to cite myself on this post, it seems that today I am in "RambleBlog" mode.

Oh, and I noticed that I got a porn spam comment on this site - Genuine are you behind that? Just Kidding G-man...

Saturday, May 14, 2005

Bad Blogs, Bad Blogs, what you gonna do...

While out patroling this weekend, I found some bad blogs and I felt that I needed to leave them citations.

After a myriad of citations, I came across this quiz that lets you know if your blog owns you:


I took the quiz ,and it appears that my blog owns 68.75% of my time. Which is fine, I don't mind so much--I think that if more people took the necessary time working on their blogs then I would have to spend less time giving out citations! I was actually disappointed in my score--I thought it would be closer to 80% as it seems that 80% of the time I am blogging or designing blogs.

Unfortunately, this (uunoeiluurffeu.blogspot.com) particular blog gets the Annoyblog award, as I couldn't leave the site. I had this super annoying java script pop up thingy that said, "Do you love me," and no matter what I typed in the box, it wouldn't let me close the page or leave the page. I plan to find some way to hack this blog site and delete it along with all of the entries.

If your blog makes me kill a process in order to leave it, then I will make it my personal goal to rid the blogospere of your site.

So let it be written, so let it be done.

Eddo of Posted Note

Wednesday, May 11, 2005

Blog Citations – Don’t be caught with your blog pants down!

Clutterblog – this citation is given to bloggers who have too much going on with their blog. Too many ads, too many links, and overall lack of organization and a preponderance of clutter.

Boreblog – long-winded blogs that ramble on about nothing of interest. This type of blog normally works as a great sleeping pill.

Annoyblog – does your blog have pop-ups or make the end user have to install software? Is your blog nothing but one big advertisement? Then this citation will be given to you.

Uglyblog – So perhaps you are new to CSS based design and html. You toyed around with your code and jacked up your template so bad that it has turned into blog soup. Go get a new template! We will not take pity on you.

TypoBlog – Your blog is spelled glob, you have incorrectly written your own name, and you have so many typographical errors that the reader can’t understand what you are trying to say.
DirtyBlog – You may get a DB Citation if your blog content is always adult themed and inappropriate. You may also be cited if you have links to offensive material on your blog and/or you are misogynistic and you objectify the opposite sex.

I am sure there will be more... but this is a good start.

Buttons, Buttons, Buttons

I created a Blog Star button for those sites that want to proclaim their blog star status.

More to come...

Tuesday, May 10, 2005

The Rules of Blog Patrol

1st RULE: You do not talk about the founder of Blog Patrol.

2nd RULE: You DO NOT talk about Eddo - the Founder of The Blog Patrol.

3rd RULE: If someone says something bad about the founder of Blog Patrol, Hell is coming to breakfast for them and their blog.

4th RULE: Only leave comments that talk about the coolness of The Blog Patrol.

5th RULE: Only Blog Patrol is allowed to be called The Blog Patrol.

6th RULE: No dorks allowed in The Blog Patrol.

7th RULE: Only interesting people will be allowed to be part of The Blog Patrol.

8th RULE: If this is your first time to be patrolled by The Blog Patrol, consider yourself very lucky, we will be back, and we expect changes.

Blogging 101: The Fundamentals of a Great Blog

1. Be yourself, but if “yourself” is boring, then learn to embellish.

2. Write consistently. No one likes to visit a blog that isn’t updated frequently.

3. Try to be efficient in your writing. No one wants to read for 30 minutes in a single post, unless it is about sex, and then you will have only perverted male readers for an audience.

4. Reread your work and try to correct spelling errors and punctuation. The more intelligent readers will be annoyed by frequent mistakes and simple grammatical errors.

5. Know your target audience. You can’t appeal to everyone, so be firm in your ideas and beliefs--people might not agree with them, but if you stand by them, people will respect you for it.

6. Enjoy your blog. Don’t blog because you feel like you must--blogging is your personal outlet. Enjoy it, and allow it to stretch you mentally and creatively.

7. Allow people to see the real you. It’s okay to talk about personal information, bodily functions, relationship woes, etc. Just remember to always be tactful and know that what you say can hurt others, so if necessary, use pseudonyms or be creatively vague.

8. By now most bloggers have heard of Heather from www.dooce.com. She lost her job a few years ago because she was blogging about her co-workers. I avoid talking about my job if at all possible, and if I do write about it, then I don't mention my company name or the names of people I work with.

9. Self-Promote. Go to others blogs, leave comments, compliments, and questions--like you, they want to be noticed and validated. Most likely they will return the favor.

10. Part B of number nine: drop a celebrity name every now and then' talk about a hot topic; be highly opinionated. Search engines and search blogs too. You never know who will find your blog as a result of a Google search.

11. Design. People like coming back to a site that looks put-together and is creative and unique. If at all possible, personalize your template, and keep it clean, simple, and uncluttered. Keep advertisements to a minimum and don’t let them distract. Yes, they can help generate funds, but they can also turn people off.

12. Pictures, Pictures, Pictures. If you can post them on occasion, or daily, post them. People enjoy looking at pictures--pictures of you, your family, your home. MTV’s show “The Real World” is a hit because we get to see how these people live their lives--we are voyeurs on the outside looking in. Isn’t that basically what a blog is? Let us have a look-see!

Blog Patrol Update

Since the Blog Patrol was created, we have had very little time to update the site as there have been many, many criminals out there in the blogoshpere, and we have been rounding them up and placing them on probation or worse--in quarantine.

We at the BP must practice what we preach. So this site will be updated more often--people will be watched more closely, and citations will be given.

The Blog Patrol is here to promote creativity and better blogging, so we will also be giving out awards as well.

Now get back to blogging!